I am a very blessed woman. As much as I talk, share and listen, it does not get more simple or complex than that statement right there. I have amazing genetic family, procured family and extended family... e.g.: friends. Anything beneath that does not exist in my world.
People around me are experiencing tragedies, heartache and loss. Sometimes unexplainable things happen. I think it's a test from some sort of force to make sure we don't become complacent and continue to feel. But at what cost? Who decides when to make the hurt stop or begin and why? Is there a mean kid with a magnifying glass burning down the ant hill?
Life must be more than a battle between good and evil. I don't believe in devils and angels sitting on our shoulders possessing our thoughts and actions. What happened in time or thought to make us so pained, afflicted, apathetic, unaffected, or dare I say it...??? Happy?
What drives the human condition to pain, fear, mediocrity, complacence, boredom, serenity and eventual happiness? Is it a process of emerging from sadness? What kind of life is that really? Do you have to start from nothing and constantly build? Why can't we be naturally elated and charged with positive energy?
This is my personal battle with God and religion. Why the pain and suffering? Why do we have to hurt to feel the love and appreciate the good things in our lives? Are we so greedy and self involved we actually have to be taught to love through anguish?
Free will seems to be realistically defined as a constant lesson in love and hurt. The road less traveled seems to have become infinite and permeated with love and enchantment. Shouldn't love be our first choice rather than our last resort?
I, for one, am determined to defy the binds of daily monotony and keep moving forward. There has to be a certain level of contrast to see the difference between anything. But, we are living to a ridiculous extreme in this day and age. Were we pushed to this point or did we push the forces to put us here? I want to believe everything I've been through, I've directed. But that idea lacks logic because I know I am not in 100% control at all times.
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